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Instead of Helping Flint, Michigan Republicans Just Passed a Bill That Makes Anal Sex Illegal

Up to 8,000 children in Flint, Michigan have potentially been poisoned by their own water supply, and so the Michigan Republicans in the Senate have bravely come together to push through a bill that… bans anal sex.

The insanity of this move is made even more outrageous by the fact that 1) Michigan already has a sodomy ban and 2) the ban is completely pointless. The 2003 Supreme Court case of Lawrence vs. Texas declared sodomy bans unconstitutional in all states.

So, to reiterate, rather than help citizens that are being poisoned by their own water, Michigan Republicans chose to spend their time and money upholding an already existing sodomy ban that is impossible to enforce.


The ban was able to pass because it was attached to an animal-rights bill mostly aimed at keeping pets out of the hands of animal abusers. The discriminatory measure is squeezed inside the section banning bestiality, an asinine suggestion by Michigan Senators that two consenting adults having the freedom to be intimate is equatable to sexual abuse of an animal.

The language of the bill reads “A person who commits the abominable and detestable crime against nature [sodomy] either with mankind or with any animal is guilty of a felony punishable by imprisonment for not more than 15 years…”

Twitter users seem to have a different idea of what is an “abominable and detestable crime”:

Republican Senator Rick Jones tried to explain that to take out the offensive line would sink the bill, because apparently Michigan Republicans in the Senate hate gay people so much that they would intentionally sabotage a bill primarily aimed at keeping people from pouring battery acid on their dogs.

“The minute I cross that line and I start talking about the other stuff, I won’t even get another hearing. It’ll be done,” Jones explained to The New Civil Rights Movement. “Nobody wants to touch it. I would rather not even bring up the topic, because I know what would happen.”


Meanwhile, the rest of the country waits for the Michigan government to “bring up the topic” of the worst public health crisis in America. One gets the feeling that we’ll be waiting for quite awhile.


Nathan Wellman is a Los Angeles-based journalist, author, and playwright. Follow him on Twitter: @LightningWOW

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